Jo'Burg

Well, I'm in Jo'Burg now. Jo'Burg is the largest city in South Africa and home to the largest stock exchange on the continent. But it's not the capital. Pretoria, where I been, is one of the three capitals, being the administrative capital or something like that. Bloemfontein, where nobody in his right mind would go unless driving through to Cape Town, is the judicial capital. Cape Town, where I will have been next month (that is grammatically correct when you think of it: I will have been there), is the legislative capital.

Anyway, when I said Jo'Burg is not the capital, I kind of lied. It is the capital for all intents and purposes (or whatever that saying really is). It is the economic capital, the capital of Guateng Province, as well as the murder capital. It's also the rape capital, mugging capital, violent non-lethal crime capital, and arson capital. Sounds fun, eh? And for the next few weeks, it'll also be the football, er, soccer capital of the world, and therefore where I need to be if I am truly going to be the American Ambassador to Soccer.

Yesterday, I go to Jo'Burg in time to go to the Brazil-DPR Korea match, but since A. I did not have tickets, B. it was fucking freezing, and C. I was already going to see Brazil in a real match anyway, I decided to watch it at the hostel. And Brazil won by a goal, I think, since I dreamt that Brazil scored four goals in extra time. But either way, everyone was shocked at how the DPR Korea actually played with Brazil, arguably the strongest team in the world and unquestionably the most accomplished in World Cup history. That said, the DPR Korea lost, which means there's a good chance ¼ of the team will not be alive come kickoff for their second match against Portugal, whih is not a DPR.

Today, of course, Bafana Bafana play their second match, and today, of course, Bafana Bafana will be the entire thing 81 percent of this country cares about. The other 19 percent, being white, will care about the rugby match in Cape Town that was brilliantly scheduled to be played concurrently with the soccer match. Doesn't that make sense.

I'll do some Jo'Burg touring today. Maybe go to the Apartheid museum. Maybe schedule the tour of Soweto. Who knows. But I'll also watch a bit of soccer.

I swear pics are coming when I stop being lazy.

Yours truly,
The Ambassador