New Computer!!! Which means less money!!!

So for those of you who have followed this blog since it's infancy about two days ago, you'd know that I was suffering from computer problems. Well, they were fatal and I had to buy a new computer. Don't worry, I'll get the 14 percent VAT back when I leave the country, so it'll only be slightly more expensive than buying it in the United States as opposed to extremely more expensive.

That said, as the first full-length Blentry from the RSA, as well as the first with a working keyboard, I will sum up my first ten hours here.

Now, you might be thinking something to the affect (or is it effect?) of “But he's been here a day!” and you are right. But you're forgetting one key thing: South Africa uses the metric system, so there are ten hours in a day. There are also ten days in a week and ten weeks in a year. South Africa doesn't have months. Of course, the metric system is also stupid. Which makes more sense: 1,000 metres in a kilometre, or 1,760 yards in a mile? The latter of course. Plus, metre and kilometre are mispelled. God damn the metric system even affecting spelling.

Anyway, I've learned ten things in my first ten hours here and here they are:

1. The metric system is stupid – well duh, we don't use it in the greatest country on Earth (Texas).

2. I will never get used to people driving on the left side of the road. Seriously, I almost got rammed when I crossed every intersection, and most of them there weren't even any cars at.

3. Bottled water is cheap. For less than $1, I got a 1.5 litre bottle of water. That's two fifths or almost a full handle of water. Compare that to the tiny little things that you can drink in one gulp that cost $1.25 at a bagel store or $8 at Yankee Stadium.

4. The metric system is stupid – well duh. And don't think this is the last time I tell you that THE METRIC SYSTEM IS STUPID.

5. The Mexican Embassy to the Republic of South Africa is located underneath Brooklyn Bridge. Well, on the lower level of the office building complex called Brooklyn Bridge. But either way.

6. This country is still really segregated. I mean really segregegated. Every person walking on the streets was either A. black or B. me. All the employees in the supermarket were black, with the exclusion of the managers, who were all white. Same at the fast-food burger joint I went to. The disaster of Apartheid will clearly continue to be felt for generations.

7. The metric system is stupid – okay, I promise this is the last time I say that the metric system is stupid in the blentry. But in future blentries, I will gladly tell you that the metric system is stupid.

8. The World Cup is just one huge party for the host country. At every intersection, a bunch of people are standing waving RSA flags and blowing into plastic horns. Then all the cars driving by honk their horns to show their solidarity. It's really a neat sight and one that hasn't yet gotten old.

9. Home security is a MUCH bigger concern here than stateside. There were multiple such stores in the Brooklyn Mall, and one person felt it necessary to not just have an electric fence guarding their house but a sign that informing anyone who survived climbing over into their property that they had “Tropical and Poisonous Snakes.” I'll get a picture of that sign next time I walk by in case you think this is just some bullshit I've made up to sell advertising.

10. I'm a liar. How did I learn I was a liar? Because I promised that I was not going to tell you that the metric system is stupid again in this blentry, and I went ahead and told you the metric system is stupid. So sue me.

Well, pictures to come when I finally upload them. So far it's just pictures of Mogadishu from my airplane and of Dubai International Shopping Mall, er Airport. Until then...

Yours truly,
The American Ambassador to Soccer